A very old friend of mine felt sorry for me this week on the fact I have
lost my faith on the Catholic God. It is true that I have been baptised and I
even did my confirmation when I was about seventeen. Actually, the same very
age I met the referred friend. Back in that time, I used to be a humble fearful
servant to the love of God having a very strong relationship with the Church.
Even more ironically is the fact that I was the one reuniting my friend to…
faith.
Over twenty years later, there isn't the most vaguely shadow of that boy
in the man I am today. However, for those who are used to follow my blog, there
are lots of clues and remains of my childhood along the texts pointing this
out. Freud and Yung aside, where exactly the adult version of me has turned the
back to religion in general?
Religion should be a reference, some sort of guidance for a high
spiritual behaviour narrowing the path towards God. Meanwhile, in a planet
figuring over seven billions of souls facing serious health issues, populated
by shallow values, consuming societies, and full of ego-dystonic communities,
it doesn't seem to me that prays and novenas – like ever – have been making a
better race of humans or a better world. Even worse is the thought that it may
only do better for life in a very, very individual way.
Statistically, people become more religious and grow in faith as the age
grows. In other words, when they realize that the mystic and mysterious ending
is getting closer, some king of ‘celestial benefits’ or some sort of heaven
policy must be arranged in order to assure the access to the other side. Now, I
know I am being quite harsh to the authentic religious people but I am just
building up an argument.
Looking back to History before Christians, over 2000 years ago, when the
Roman Empire had spread its doctrine during centuries for the vast areas
between the Atlantic and Pacific oceans and, before them, for more over 3000
year, in the Egypt, fathers had taught their sons through generations and
generations to venerate their kings as gods, I wonder: 3000 years are seriously
a lot of years, G! At least 1000 more than Catholicism… and for as long as it
was, legacies and societies were raised up, lived, and died upon those beliefs.
And even though they surely lived their religion experiences in a much more
profound and dedicated way than we live ours nowadays, some of their gods can
be seen at the British Museum and not just only that, we also learn about them
in school, like we do with algebra or geography but contextualized as
mythology.
Somehow, it became clear to me that in the future, when the Earth’s core
has been moved or twisted around and the whole urban architectures as we know
have been under snow, somewhere in the Caribbean islands, people will be
teaching about the Catholic Mythology and its deep impact into the
socio-economics-politic development of that era.
Yet, looking over the human evolution, from the wheel invention, from
the fire discovery to the historic journey of Casini spaceship to Saturn, or
even about storms and cataclysm, plagues and inexplicable diseases, how could
we have survived without a god?
It is notorious for me that almost 6000 years later to the writing
invention, whereby we still have gods with elephant heads in the most populated
nation in the world, that man still hasn't learnt what are God’s wishes, nor
even strength faith itself. Well, the most Italian heritage that could still
remaining in the Catholicism, nowadays, is the ability to commit some sinful
indiscretion. Just in case we might have nothing to confess next Sunday…
I always have in consideration that when my mother studied chemistry in
the 50´s, a half dozen of metals or gazes had not yet been catalogued. In fact,
we don’t have to go back in time that far! The periodic table that I used when
I was in school in the 80´s was already shorter in elements than the one my
nephew has been using now. But imagine, what those unknown materials and odours
could mean for those who, full of unawareness, have met them?
I had some contact with magic and esoteric practises and I read a lot
about Spiritualism, something about Buddhism and it is worthless talking about
Judaism. I am son of Yemanja with Ogun, Gemini by the solar horoscope and Pig
by the Chinese one. I read Taro and on my strongest days in the past I’ve done
some card reading using an English deck!
I believe that the material and energetic world retains thousands of
secrets and keys we haven’t seen, found or understood yet. Quantum Physics is a
small baby comparing to mathematics age. Somehow, I found peace in the fact
that I am living in the era where we are, as we have always been, surrounded by
the limits of our present evolution. Unfortunately, common sense, some groups,
and even entire societies they take out of hypothetical thoughts, short
explanations, and theories the comfort their souls need, exactly as their
ancestors needed in order to go through devastations as El Niño or even plagues
as the red or black ones.
This look upon History, upon our entire trajectory, and also for have
watched tones of National Geographic Channel, makes me realize that we are the
only living creatures disconnected from our biologic nature, from the planet,
and the cosmos. We do insist in keep living around active volcanos or above
seismic cracks when we know by fact that someday, any day, things may run
badly. We are also the only homothermous stubborn specie living immersed in ice
or caved in into a desert!
Every year, hundreds and hundreds of different species they cross over
the planet running away from cold or seeking food or just for procreation. They
are amazing beings fully equipped with natural-organic radars, sonars,
censorial lines, thermostats and GPS, but if a human being says he had a
feeling, foreseen something or predicted whatever, he is medicated and people
around this person may show some ostracism because, after all, schizophrenia is
some serious and, for some misinformed, dangerous decease! Halooooooo?
In my point of view, we get this all so very wrong. Think about it, how
much more healthy it would be if you had free mornings instead of free nights?
Having some quality sun light bursting you out with vitamin D in a blue sky
after you and your partner and child had taken the breakfast together! You all
could even get lunch together, enjoying the day, before starting the work,
school or even housekeeping! At night, instead of getting fat in front a TV
doing nothing we would do a light meal, shower, and bed! Renovating for one
more gorgeous day surrounded by those you love most in the sun!
We are simply victims of our own evolving trajectory regarding
decisions, social organizations, schemes, and structure of how we solve the
needs of managing life under the most stupid and useless rules and beliefs in
the past 5000 years. Let’s agree upon this, that a little help from a god was
very welcome and helpful.
So, living in a world where approximately 98% of people believe in God,
you might be wondering, how does he do?
Well, finding myself gay in the middle of a South American dictator
country has provided me lots of practice in how to survive under a disguise
(LOL). But I just don’t have any Tudor tendency to fight against a whole belief
to change it, break up with it, or even to establish another new one based on
mine. I don’t mind and I don’t feel bothered by any belief and in fact, I have
a profound respect and sense of understanding regarding the need of having it
and I also recognize the benefits some of those religious movements may bring
to one’s life.
I am fascinated by human nature and human behaviour and I feel myself
part of a system as important as water and wind for the creation of Grand
Canyon. I enjoy being alive and I am sure there are millions of opportunities
ahead and that fills my spirit with expectation and hope and that nurtures my
soul.
I do not care about the mysteries we just cannot explain but I will not
reject what I can feel. Humans are living longer and so, brand new aspects of
our physique are coming up revealing things, confirming knowledge but also,
putting down old, once, certainties.
At last, when I look over my lack of faith, I found how I behave to
myself and in life and to others and then, I dare to say that I live much more
like a Christian than those who cross their chest passing by a church. I see
myself as a person with an active spirit and vibrant soul. Even though a
strange version of myself still needing some ‘divine intervention’ regarding
the falling in love issue. But please, do not feel sorry for me. I am fine.
I believe all of you will have a nice week.
Eduardo Divério
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